he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
