I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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