last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
