Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
