are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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