Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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