I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
