bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
