I wish I could punch you in the face.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
