I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
