Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
