i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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