Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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