I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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