Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
