I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i now understand why vodka
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
