He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
