Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
