Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
