I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
