That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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