please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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