Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
