My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
