Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I lost the right to judge tonight
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
