and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so explain again why im purple
no
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
