yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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