Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
