Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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