3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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