This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
