OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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