hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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