you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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