my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
