Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
