i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
