love makes seman taste better
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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