too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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