Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
