Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
