what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
