so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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