You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i've created a new STD.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
