he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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