So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize