i was born a porn star she said
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
