oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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