break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
