how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize