playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
