she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
