wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Im part way to drunk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
