Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize