Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
