and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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