i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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