i think my tv is drunk
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
