I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
