Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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