I wish you could order shots online.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
