i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize