I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
