Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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