What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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