dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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