You really coming over, don't trick.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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