Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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