so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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