I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
