I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
