More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
