Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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