I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
