he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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