I just saw a hot homeless man
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
