But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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