Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
