somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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