I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
