I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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